In a word, disappointing.<\/p>\n
I wasn’t as actively offended as I was when I sat through X-men Origins: Wolverine<\/em>; but I’m not a whole lot happier with this waste of time.<\/p>\n I can see how people might view this movie as potentially worse because it attempts to bring the classic Wolverine in Japan story to the screen.\u00a0 There’s great stuff there.\u00a0 Frank Miller and Larry Hamma have both weighed in and there’s literally tons of shit already storyboarded that would make an amazing film. They went with Logan’s introduction to the Yashida clan and all their yakuza assassination shenanigans.\u00a0 And at one point Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan<\/em>) was supposed to direct it.\u00a0 But Darren dropped out, so I’ll probably not ever get to see a good Wolverine movie unless Fox somehow loses the film rights.<\/p>\n Light spoilers follow:<\/strong><\/p>\n Sigh.\u00a0 Anyway I liked the actress who plays Mariko Yashida, she’s pretty adorable.\u00a0 I like some of the staging in the early action sequences.\u00a0 There’re some shots that suggest how Logan deals with pain and injury in his mind, enough to raise my hopes for the film in the early viewing.\u00a0 Hugh Jackman has always been wrong for the part of Wolverine but he’s not a terrible actor.<\/p>\n However, I hated everything else.\u00a0 There’s a scene where Logan survives the bombing of Nagasaki, that just does not work.\u00a0 Enough of the population of earth understands how an atomic bomb functions that all involved should be ashamed of how dumb that scene is.\u00a0 Pants are apparently fireproof also.\u00a0 There’s a retarded ninja archer character who has a bunch of screen time, walks around on roofs in broad daylight at public events (I guess everyone is used to seeing him and it’s totally normal) who needed to be cut from the story.\u00a0 That which has no purpose other than stupid should be cut.\u00a0 There are several throwaway scenes that do not accomplish anything other than to suggest plot holes.\u00a0 Lady Hydra\/Viper fans (are there any?) should be upset at her portrayal.\u00a0 She’s a fairly classic villain that deserves better treatment.\u00a0 In this film she resembles Poison Ivy from Batman and Robin<\/em>.\u00a0 Silver Samurai (who there are actual fans of) is raped as well.\u00a0 They re-imagine him as a really really boring version of Cyber.\u00a0 Kind of.\u00a0 It’s really stupid.<\/p>\n Yukio they don’t do a bad job with initially, but she becomes lost in the mix and later fights Viper in the decade’s most boring action sequence.<\/p>\n Said action sequence is really bad.\u00a0 The Black Clan (does somebody else own the rights to The Hand?) is the most retarded bunch of roof hopping idiots I’ve ever seen and the transition from fighting dudes with machine guns, to bows and arrows, and then to giant cyborgs strains even my elastic sense of credulity.\u00a0 Also, clearly the best route to the mountain fortress is straight down the only lighted street for miles around.<\/p>\n Also, Wolverine has other abilities besides healing and claws.\u00a0 Might be nice if writers knew that.<\/p>\n The worst part of the film is actually after the end credits when Magneto and a reincarnated Xavier accost Logan as he’s going through airport security.\u00a0 Few things; 1) Why airport security?\u00a0 Xavier doesn’t need to actually be near anyone to talk to them.\u00a0 2)Magneto is a high profile criminal\/terrorist\u00a0 3)\u00a0 If this is all the effort they put forth trying to be smooth, the sentinels deserve to win.<\/p>\n Basically this is just a stupid, forgettable movie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In a word, disappointing. I wasn’t as actively offended as I was when I sat through X-men Origins: Wolverine; but I’m not a whole lot happier with this waste of time. I can see how people might view this movie … Continue reading