{"id":405,"date":"2012-10-29T20:23:54","date_gmt":"2012-10-29T20:23:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/movieox.com\/?p=405"},"modified":"2012-10-29T20:26:26","modified_gmt":"2012-10-29T20:26:26","slug":"magic-mike-an-interview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/?p=405","title":{"rendered":"Magic Mike: An interview"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, as occurs often during winter months, I was in my local library cruising the homeless selection.\u00a0 They can be found in libraries during the cold season and will do basically whatever I want in the spacious public restroom in exchange for a little cheap vodka.\u00a0 However, before I’d made a selection, I happened to overhear a librarian talking about the film Magic Mike<\/em>.\u00a0 As I value informing my readers over my own carnal needs (ha! can’t even type it with a straight face); I queried the librarian on her thoughts on the film.<\/p>\n

Why did you decide to see this film?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>I\u00a0\u00a0had to see what all the hype was about. Women of all ages and walks of life were either appalled by the notion of movie, or really excited about it.<\/p>\n

Please describe the plot.<\/em><\/p>\n

Mike is a guy who wants to start a business making tables out of
\ntrash, but can’t because he has bad credit. He does odd jobs and has a sleazy boss. For some reason, he’s been doing this for six years, but
\nhasn’t worked on his credit any or gotten a real job. He needs an
\nassistant, but his assistant ends up being kind of douchey. His
\nassistant lives on the couch of his sarcastic sister. He and his
\nassistant get in a fight with some frat boys at a sorority party, and
\nhis assistant loses his backpack. The bad guys inexplicably trash
\nMike’s house, so he gives them all his money and can’t make trash
\ntables. Mike has no job and no money, so he goes goes to the sarcastic sister to talk. Also, a tiny pig eats vomit. The end.<\/p>\n

Magic Mike or Erin Brockavitch?<\/em><\/p>\n

Not having seen Erin Brockovich<\/em>, I guess I have to go with Magic Mike.<\/em><\/p>\n

(this was clearly a lie, what librarian hasn’t seen Erin Brockavitch?\u00a0 But there were security cameras all over the place and I still had yet to make my vodka for anal trade so I couldn’t backhand her, sorry folks)<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Is this film spank bank material or is there too much talky?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>There’s not THAT much talky, but I’m not sure that it’s spank bank material.<\/p>\n

(as I was talking to a female, I took that to mean ‘yes this is a masurbation functional film’)<\/em><\/p>\n

Who’s the best stripper?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Magic Mike, hands down.<\/p>\n

Who’s the hottest?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Big Dick Richie.<\/p>\n

Is Big Dick Richie too<\/em> big?<\/p>\n

Possibly. You only see it in silhouette, but it probably is too much
\nof a good thing. I’m having a hard time imagining the logistics and
\nthe blood required to operate such a thing.<\/p>\n

(I took this to mean it was minimum acceptable size)<\/em><\/p>\n

Which 2 would you pick in a slut fantasy league (assume you had<\/em> arranged the 1st 2 picks)?<\/em><\/p>\n

Wait, is this the fantasy slut league where you pick the team that
\nwill score the most points, or you have to score your own points? If
\nit’s the former, I’d go with Dallas and “the kid”. If it’s the latter,
\nI pick Mike and Richie.<\/p>\n

(the librarians awareness of fantasy slut leagues affirms my faith in the human race)<\/em><\/p>\n

I understand you watched this film in a private home. \u00a0Did you touch yourself?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>No.<\/p>\n

(Yep)<\/em><\/p>\n

Would you say this film is indicative of Soderbergh’s work to this point?<\/em><\/p>\n

Not really. The story was mediocre at best, and it wasn’t nearly as
\nvisually cool as it could have been. If I watched this after Traffic,
\nI’d be highly disappointed. But, it’s better than Haywire.<\/p>\n

FMK, Matt McConaughey, Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello. \u00a0Go<\/em>.<\/p>\n

K, F, F<\/p>\n

(clear misinterpretation of the rules)<\/em><\/p>\n

Channing Tatum is the only actor with actual stripclub experience in the film. \u00a0Did it show?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Yes. Tatum is male stripper Black Swan. Everyone else just a group of crotch-grabbing Bring It On 6<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Who, if anyone, deserves to die for their contribution to this film?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Alex Pettyfer. I disliked his performance and his character immensely.<\/p>\n

Can the straight man get through this movie on a date, or should he have a backup choice complete with argument?<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>I’d opt for a backup choice. It’s a poorly-written chick flick about
\nmale strippers. It’s not so intolerable that it couldn’t be used as a
\nbargaining chip, though.<\/p>\n

(well reasoned)<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>So, there you have it.\u00a0 If\u00a0dudes are your thing, you can probably rub off to this movie.\u00a0 If not, you probably should go with a different chick flick for date night as the movie doesn’t stand on its own.\u00a0 Now, please excuse me, I have to go make some homeless person’s day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, as occurs often during winter months, I was in my local library cruising the homeless selection.\u00a0 They can be found in libraries during the cold season and will do basically whatever I want in the spacious public restroom in … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-review"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=405"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":407,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/405\/revisions\/407"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}