{"id":376,"date":"2012-08-06T21:26:03","date_gmt":"2012-08-06T21:26:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/movieox.com\/?p=376"},"modified":"2012-08-06T21:34:32","modified_gmt":"2012-08-06T21:34:32","slug":"total-recall-redux","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/?p=376","title":{"rendered":"Total Recall Redux"},"content":{"rendered":"

I find it really hard to believe they haven’t covered this on Inside the Actor’s Studio…<\/em><\/p>\n

Anyway, why the hell should you go see a Len Wiseman (Die Hard 4: The Abortion<\/em>) remake of a Paul Verhovan (Robocop, Showgirls<\/em>) movie starring not Arnold Schwartznegger?\u00a0 And don’t knock Arnold to me you pseudo-intellectuals; only communists don’t like Arnold.\u00a0 It’s science.<\/p>\n

I’d like to say the new film ignores the original and more fully explores Phillip K Dick’s (slap yourself for not knowing who he is) short story, We’ll Remember it for You Wholesale<\/em>.\u00a0 But I can’t.\u00a0 What this movie basically does is simplify the plot of the 1st one and make it more like a chase movie than an Arnold shoot-em-all.\u00a0 There’s still a war between forces concentrated in the northern and southern hemisphere’s of future earth; but there’s no Mars.\u00a0 It’s just the only places habitable are London and Sydney.\u00a0 Also, somebody dug a subway system through the planet’s core connecting them.\u00a0 And they’re not officially at war yet, its a cold war.<\/p>\n

But the plot is framed the same way.\u00a0 Dude has a ridiculously hot wife (Kate Beckinsale>Sharon Stone, sorry old people) but is inexplicably unsatisfied and goes to have a fake memory implanted to make him happier.\u00a0 Except somebody already put a fake memory in, BECAUSE HE’S A SPY AND EVERYONE’S COMING TO KILL HIM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!<\/p>\n

So, obviously there’s a vast global conspiracy as to why all this bullshit is going on, but don’t kid yourself; you won’t care.\u00a0 The plot isn’t what’s important here.\u00a0 Once Colin Farrell (Alexander 2: Necrophillia<\/em>) figures out he’s a quintuple agent with level 98 2 handed skill; his “wife” reveals that she is actually Sarah Connor and tries to kill him for the whole movie.<\/p>\n

And though I have adopted a mocking tone, the action is entertaining.\u00a0 Imagine the chase scene from Minority Report<\/em> having an unwanted rape baby with one from Fifth Element<\/em>.\u00a0 Jessica Beal is an afterthought who is a member of the faction opposed to Kate Beckinsale.\u00a0 If you ignore the completely implausible (even by Total Recall standards) way she meets up with Farrell; she’s also quite an asskicker.<\/p>\n

Side note: the subway is able to get from Britain to Australia in about an hour.\u00a0 So that would move them 2000some miles an hour.\u00a0 Can a human survive that kind of acceleration?\u00a0 I’m not sure how many gravites that would be and I’m not sure at what point a human is liquified and I don’t like math.\u00a0 So you tell me, is that even remotely plausible?\u00a0 I kinda doubt it.<\/p>\n

But the movie is fun and waaaaaay better than the watch apparently.\u00a0 Enjoy mindlessly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I find it really hard to believe they haven’t covered this on Inside the Actor’s Studio… Anyway, why the hell should you go see a Len Wiseman (Die Hard 4: The Abortion) remake of a Paul Verhovan (Robocop, Showgirls) movie … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=376"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":378,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376\/revisions\/378"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}