In order to include points of view other than my own (not that there’s any value in opinions that aren’t mine, just being random) and to avoid actually having to see it for myself; I’ve queried an anonymous Army serviceman who recently saw the film.\u00a0 Don’t worry, he’s not in signal corps so there will be no Dungeons and Dragons nor Warcraft references.<\/p>\n
Why did you decide to see The Watch?
\n<\/span>-> I was on my way to Georgia from NYC and stopped in Richmond, VA to see a movie for a few hours. The only movies playing were spiderman and the watch. Spiderman was playing in 30 minutes; the watch was playing in 5 minutes. I opted out for time over quality it seems.<\/p>\nHow would you describe the plot?
\n-> Ben Stiller is the lead and plays an uppity, impotent douchebag who spends more time community organizing than bangin is hot wife. Jonah Hill plays a psychopath (curious?) and Vince Vaughn plays Vince Vaughn as you have seen him in every movie with Vince Vaughn. They toss in the only black (half) English comedian I have ever seen in my life just for shits and gigs… and then a fucking alien with R. Lee Ermy<\/p>\nWho, if anyone, deserves to die for their contribution to this film?
\n-> Ben Stiller<\/p>\nWould you say this film is better or worse than Bret Ratner’s immortal
\nRush Hour II?
\n-> I would rather watch Rush Hour II every day in hell on repeat than go through that movie again.<\/p>\nWould it be accurate to say The Watch made you sad ‘in the pants’?
\n-> More like an angry sad.<\/p>\nHow long after viewing the watch did you suffer erectile dysfunction?
\n-> The effects this movie had on my sex life were staggering<\/p>\nIf James Holmes had shot up a theater of people attending this film, would he be a lock for the Nobel Peace prize for mercy killings?
\n-> Too soon or not soon enough? He wouldn’t get Nobel, but he would definitely snag Presidential Medal of Freedom<\/p>\nWhat, if anything, did the vietnam war have to do with this film?
\n->The movie attempted the strategy of attrition devised by General Westmoreland in order to kill the time of the maximum amount of movie goers.<\/p>\nCould Mel Gibson have saved this film?
\n->easily<\/p>\nWhat is the atomic # of zinc?
\n->30<\/p>\nYou’re Big Gay Al and you pretty much get to rape whomever you want in the prison that has been your home for the last 5 years. \u00a0The whole (male) cast of the watch is in your shower. Who feels the pain 1st and why?
\n->I would save Ben Stiller till the end because I would not want to have him crying for the entire time after I rape him first..I would take the english guy…..he’s got a pretty mouth…<\/p>\nCompare and contrast this film to an average DMV experience.
\n->no comment<\/p>\nAnd finally, do you think you’ll kill again?<\/p>\n
\n-> any new Batman’s coming out anytime soon?<\/div>\n\u00a0<\/div>\n\u00a0Well, there you have it folks.\u00a0 Avoid the watch.\u00a0 And don’t complain about my favoritism of the Army over other branches.\u00a0 I’ll talk to a navy guy once the rest stop bathroom revokes my restraining order and I’m sure I’ll run into some Air Force and Marine guys at pilates.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In order to include points of view other than my own (not that there’s any value in opinions that aren’t mine, just being random) and to avoid actually having to see it for myself; I’ve queried an anonymous Army serviceman … Continue reading