Before I begin, peace be upon those poor people who got shot at a midnight showing in Aurora, CO.\u00a0 May they find the clearing at the end of the path.<\/p>\n
And, more cynically, I’d like to point out if more people carried weapons 12 people wouldn’t be dead.\u00a0 The asshole who started shooting up the theater would have been aced and we’d be reading about the idiot stupid enough to pull a gun on a crowd of Americans.\u00a0 Maybe that seems counter intuitive, but people should be more afraid of other people.\u00a0 Guns will help.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I’ve seen Dark Knight Rises <\/em>and you haven’t.\u00a0 If you’re a sequential art (comic book) aficionado, DKR<\/em> is a combination of Knightfall <\/em>and Frank Miller’s classic Dark Knight Returns<\/em>.\u00a0 The former is a storyline launched in 94 when DC realized it had been putting out just terrible work for years and decided to kill off its major characters to shake things up.\u00a0 This resulted in Superman getting to fight Doomsday and Batman being introduced to Bane.\u00a0 In the comic, Bane is a South American terrorist who was born and raised inside a prison.\u00a0 He wears a luchador mask and pumps himself up on a potent and extremely fast acting steroid called venom.\u00a0 If that sounds retarded, it’s because it is.\u00a0 Knightfall <\/em>was a fucktarded story.\u00a0 Dark Knight Returns <\/em>is a much more awesome story set after Batman has long retired, in his 50’s.\u00a0 And he ends up getting so angry at how shitty the city has become that he dusts off the old cape.\u00a0 How does a near senior citizen fight criminals hand to hand?\u00a0 Well, he’s not as nice as he used to be.\u00a0 He uses weapons, filthy tricks, and extreme violence.\u00a0 Basically, he’s not fucking around.\u00a0 One of his antagonists is the Mutant leader.\u00a0 Leader of an extremely physical and violent gang (the mutants); he and Batman engage in some seriously intense combat.\u00a0<\/p>\n The primary antagonist of the new movie is Bane but he’s really mostly the mutant leader.\u00a0 He’s a combination of the two characters but much more mutant leader than Bane.\u00a0 Which is a good thing.\u00a0 And Tom Hardy brings an impressive physicality to the role.<\/p>\n If you’ll recall where we last left our hero, he’d taken the rap for the murders Two-Face committed and for Harvey Dent’s death (see what I did there?).\u00a0 DKR<\/em> takes place 8 years later as Gotham is relatively calm and nobody has seen Batman since.\u00a0 Nobody has seen Bruce Wayne either, he’s become a recluse.\u00a0 It seems like nothing is wrong.\u00a0 Which as anyone who plays Resident Evil knows is time to look over your shoulder for the monster.<\/p>\n I don’t think anyone’s ever going to top TDK’s<\/em>Joker; but this film’s Bane cannot be ignored.\u00a0 Gone is the luchador mask.\u00a0 He’s kind of like a MMA Darth Vader.\u00a0 You’ll see.\u00a0\u00a0 While not “topping” the Joker; Bane is easily a more serious problem.\u00a0 He’s bringing the French Revolution on steroids.\u00a0 He’s bringing Occupy Wall-Street with balls.<\/p>\n Nolan rounds out the scene with around 20 other characters, some from the comic, some new.\u00a0 The best new addition, besides Bane, is Ann Hathaway as Catwoman.\u00a0 Ann can pull off pure athletic better than I would have thought.\u00a0 Her fighting prowess is quite believable.\u00a0 And she gives us an understated, aspiring nihilist take on Catwoman that’s by far the most interesting version\u00a0of a usually stupid character.<\/p>\n Some quick notes on flaws:\u00a0 There’s alot of shit in this movie.\u00a0 Alot of new characters, sometimes it takes away from the\u00a0moment.\u00a0 Sometimes the fighting feels too smooth.\u00a0 Still not quite sure how I feel about the ending.\u00a0 But that’s it.<\/p>\n See the movie.\u00a0 It won’t make you forget Heath, but Bane is pretty good in his own right.\u00a0 His introduction scene is\u00a0almost as cool as Joker’s bank heist.\u00a0 And Nolan throws a few curve balls at you and they’re solid pitches.\u00a0 But take a gun, theaters are dangerous.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Before I begin, peace be upon those poor people who got shot at a midnight showing in Aurora, CO.\u00a0 May they find the clearing at the end of the path. And, more cynically, I’d like to point out if more … Continue reading