Let’s get the obvious out of the way: unless your standards are very low, you will be underwhelmed by this movie.<\/p>\n
First, I think this film is further evidence that Tim Burton is gigantically overrated.\u00a0 What’s his best film, Edward Scissorhands?\u00a0 Nightmare Before Christmas?\u00a0 Beetlejuice?<\/p>\n
Credit for the 1st 2 goes to the wonderful Caroline Thompson.\u00a0 She’s a wonderful writer.\u00a0 Beetlejuice is the creation of Michael McDowell, who is one of the most original fiction writers I’ve had the pleasure to read.\u00a0 And he’s memorably quoted as claiming ‘writing for the ages is dumb’.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Sooo…\u00a0 What else?\u00a0 1989 Batman?\u00a0 I’ll give you that one.\u00a0 That movie was badass.\u00a0 Heath had to court death to top Jack’s Joker.\u00a0 And Keaton is still the best Batman, but Bale reigns supreme by a wide margin as Bruce Wayne.<\/p>\n
But Mars Attacks?\u00a0 Planet of the Apes?\u00a0 Ed Wood?\u00a0 Burton is severely overrated as a storyteller.\u00a0 He admits as much, claiming he “wouldn’t know\u00a0a good script if it bit him in the ass”.\u00a0 He’s a setting guy, somebody else has to take responsibility for the story not being shit.<\/p>\n
So you ask me, how’s a movie based on one of the dumbest shows of all time supposed to have a good story?\u00a0 I don’t know, why are you filming the fucking thing?!?<\/p>\n
However, the tragedy is the film opens well.\u00a0 Marketing that seemed to paint this film as a screwball comedy seemed misplaced at first.\u00a0 There’s a brooding, ominous opening and interactions that seem comedic but are also unsettling.\u00a0 There was kind of a faint Twin Peaks vibe about the whole thing (except we hadn’t found the body yet).\u00a0 But once everything was set up, nothing else interesting happens.\u00a0 Well we explore Depp’s passion for stupid hats, but that’s it.\u00a0 We have a solid intro and then…\u00a0 Stupid.\u00a0 Yards of Stupid.<\/p>\n
You have my permission to skip this one.\u00a0 If you have to see it please don’t be sober.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Let’s get the obvious out of the way: unless your standards are very low, you will be underwhelmed by this movie. First, I think this film is further evidence that Tim Burton is gigantically overrated.\u00a0 What’s his best film, Edward … Continue reading